How to break up with someone

Break up with someone

No matter how long your relationship has been, breaking up with someone is not an easy task. This is a decisive and painful step. Usually, when parting, you will inevitably hurt and hurt someone you have loved for a long time.

How to break up with someone

This often happens very unexpectedly, but sometimes your partner already senses that something is happening. But with these tips, you can make this vital experience a little easier.


Often, you don’t feel comfortable in the relationship anymore, but you’re not sure if you should break up. This decision is extremely difficult, especially if you have invested a lot of time and emotion in the relationship. However, the following points may help you with this.

Take your time

The desire to leave is very difficult and, above all, a serious decision. Do you want to break up with this person? Do you have any more chances that everything will return to normal? Could you work on the relationship?


All this needs to be weighed. It’s still your choice, but keep in mind that we live in a rather monotonous society these days. We are used to just replacing what no longer works. You must understand that there is no perfect relationship. Even with a new person in your life, likely little will change.


So it might be better to work on the relationship and try to fix it. Try to light a fire. Do more together again, such as planning a date. It can save the relationship and make you feel better again.


Let’s talk about problems

Before leaving a relationship, try to talk to your partner about your concerns. Maybe you can find a solution. Then you can also secretly issue an ultimatum. However, give yourself plenty of time to work on something. Rarely does something change overnight.


However, don’t talk about breaking up yet. It could have gone really bad. Think carefully about what you are saying. Tell the person how important they and the relationship are to you and why you want to work on it. Usually, they immediately realize that the situation is serious.

Trust someone

Perhaps you will trust someone who will not tell anyone. Often friends are very good at talking about how something can be improved, etc.

Distance a little from them

If you are unsure, give yourself time to reflect on the situation and your life. It’s best to keep a close distance to see if you miss your partner when you’re alone or not. Use the time for introspection. Maybe it’s not the other person making you feel bad about the relationship, but something else entirely. But you may also realize that you would rather be alone and enjoy your freedom.

Think about the reason

Often you don’t know why you want to break up. Most of the time it doesn’t feel right anymore, but you can’t put the exact reason in words. However, on the rarest of occasions, the person you want to break up with will be satisfied with this explanation. So you have to explain yourself.


So, you should know what is bothering you. You no longer have feelings for this person, you no longer find him attractive, you have fallen in love with someone else, or you just want to be alone to develop. There are many reasons. More than I could list.

Clarify the following things

If you live together, share finances, or have children or pets together, you should also think very well ahead of time about how you want to solve these problems.


Should you move out or take your time? Close account? How to tell the children? Who will get Tony the turtle?

Plan the conversation in advance

It would be nice if you knew exactly what you are talking about and how the conversation is likely to go. Think carefully about what you want to say. If you think ahead, you can also prepare for any reaction or counter questions.

Take time to talk

A breakup conversation usually lasts much longer than you originally anticipated. So it’s best if you don’t have any plans for later. At the very least, you should keep in mind that this person probably still really likes you and wants to discuss all the reasons and next steps – for example, with mutual friends, apartment, children, etc.

Choose a suitable location

It is best to meet in person. Parting in private is better than in public. It would be wise to go to the person’s home and inconveniently rescue him.

However, if you are afraid of a person’s reaction, for example, because he may become aggressive, then a place like a public park is for you. In other words, a place where you can retire and not be disturbed, but with enough people nearby for safety.


Now we come to the most difficult part: the very breakdown of relations. Great sensitivity is required here.

Be honest

It is best if you do not deceive the person. So, if the reason for the breakup is not something that hurt them badly, stay honest.

Be brave

Say how you feel and stick to your preconceived thoughts. Don’t be persuaded to do anything.

Be specific

Make your words clear and don’t create false hopes. Don’t say it might work again if you’re sure it doesn’t.

Don’t attack a person

Focus on the problems in the relationship, not the mistakes the person made. So don’t blame them. But don’t defend yourself either.

Do it personally

Do not text or call them if you cannot meet in person, because you live too far from each other, or because the person is violent.

Be empathetic

Put yourself in this person’s shoes, but don’t forget. Also, stay polite. Some people are very irritable at a breakup, which is understandable. Do not get carried away by this and stay calm.


For example, if they are intrusive, don’t tell them, say that you just need a lot of time for yourself. If they are highly argued or negative, tell them that you need a little more harmony in life.

Don’t blame

Don’t let them make you feel guilty. Stay away from this. Because there is a good chance that this person will blame you for breaking up. Say that you have thought about this for a long time and this is your final decision.

Try not to be friends

Of course, in principle, you can remain friends, but this is only possible if both of you no longer have feelings for each other. This will rarely happen when parting, unless you have lived side by side for a good year, feeling nothing for each other. Yes, it happens, but rarely.


Friendships can take months to develop. At best, there should be no contact between you so that you can control your feelings. Otherwise, your ex – or even you – will end up in the so-called friend zone. And you don’t want that.

Someone new is the reason

If someone else is causing the breakup, you should also mention that. Otherwise, you will only induce bad if your ex at some point learns that someone new is already here. It causes the person unnecessary pain if he hears about it from someone else.

After the break

Well, the hardest part is over. But even after the breakup, there are still a few things to consider.

Inform your environment

Let your friends and family know that you are now single. Especially before you change your social media status or anything like that. And tell them how to deal with their ex if they come into contact with that person.

Take responsibility

The breakup was your idea. Take responsibility. This may sound harsh, but it’s true. However, don’t let anyone blame you. Stick to your decision.


Hopefully, you’ve thought a lot ahead of time and aren’t trying to get your ex back at some point.

Take care of yourself

This time can also be difficult for the person who broke up: you. Take care of your mental and physical health.

No connection

After the breakup, you should keep your distance and not support this person for a long time. Even if you want to remain friends, you don’t have to see each other for long. Two or three months should be a good time to let your emotions subside.

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